Unexpected
by AbyssDemon
Summary: Tohru is up late battling the doubtful voices in her head reminding her of the great sacrifices she's making for a child concieved through vicious assault. Shigure lends a listening ear and offers the comfort Tohru really needs.


Tohru lay awake in the silent house as time slowly crept into the night. The quiet made the whispers in the back of her mind turn into thunderous voices. No matter how many times she shifted in her bed, she couldn't get comfortable. The tiny spark of life within her fluttered anxiously, only making the bitter voices press their burning knives deeper into her soul. Sighing heavily, she crept from beneath her fluffy comforter, giving up on trying to rest. She needed something to do to deafen those horrible little thoughts.

Shigure lifted his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, an attempt to relieve the pressure that fatigue had built there. Yawning deeply, he pressed his palms against his eyes, encouraging them to stay open just a few more minutes. He replaced his glasses and glanced back at the glowing computer monitor, brightly displaying his last two hours of work. He felt satisfied with the four lengthy chapters he had crunched out and decided to save the rest of his burst of inspiration for the morning. He saved his work and quickly scribbled notes on a post-it he then stuck to the monitor. It wouldn't do to forget his train of thought when he came back to write again. He stretched as her rose, noting the dull aches in his shoulders, neck and back caused by sitting at his desk intently for so long. The computer screen winked out as the machine shut down and Shigure shuffled into the hall, all too ready to hit his soft mattress. A twinge from his stomach had him detouring to the kitchen for a midnight snack.

As he padded into the kitchen, movement caught his eye. It seemed as though someone was up, fixing something in the shadows. Only one person in his household would know his kitchen well enough to maneuver so effectively in the darkness. "Tohru, what are you doing? It's past 2:00 a.m." Shigure asked quietly from the doorway.

The girl jumped at the sound of his voice, barely catching the cup that her grip had loosed. She turned around, hand pressed against her thundering heart to find Shigure standing in the doorway. She sighed in relief and explained herself. "I couldn't sleep. The baby's restless, so I thought some warm tea would help relax us. Would you like some?" She didn't mention that she'd been up for nearly three quarters of an hour trying to find something more involved she could do to banish her crushing thoughts. Everything was done though and so she resorted to the small comfort of traditional tea.

Shigure flipped on the light and stepped further into the kitchen. He could see the sleepiness in his little flower's slightly puffy eyes and the worry creasing her gentle features. He decided he'd try to get her to talk it through. Hatori had said she had an especially delicate psyche and that if they could bring her out of the protective shell she'd built around herself, it would help immensely. "How could I possibly refuse a cup of your delicious tea!" Shigure cooed, moving to the fridge in search of leftovers for his snack. He asked her if she recommended anything for a midnight snack.

Tohru saw his glasses, the tired look on his face, and the frown etched onto his features when he turned on the light. He must have been up working, she concluded. She felt better, knowing she hadn't disturbed him with her activity. She put the tea kettle on the table and gently sidestepped Shigure to reach into the fridge. "Let me fix you something!" she said, happy to have something more involved than tea to make. She didn't realize the thoughts had already quieted with Shigure's presence.

"If you insist," Shigure said, smiling at his fortune. Tohru's cooking was absolutely wonderful. "But allow me to finish the tea for you then."

Tohru accepted his offer to help with a slight bow and "Arigato!" A few minutes later they were sitting down to hot tea and onigiri. Tohru poured tea for Shigure, then herself and sipped the bitter liquid quietly. He had made it just right and must have added a drop of something sweet. She could taste the flavor swirling around the natural essences in the liquid. She smiled noticing he'd picked up several of her onigiri.

"You've outdone yourself as always, my little flower!" Shigure cooed after eating one of her rice balls. It was the perfect midnight snack. "You really should eat some, Tohru-kun, before I fall victim to your culinary skills again and eat them all!"

Tohru blushed at the compliment and shook her head. "I'd be more than honored if you ate them all, Shigure-san. I really am not hungry at all, so please help yourself."

Shigure frowned mentally. Weren't pregnant women supposed to be hungry all the time? That certainly didn't fit Tohru, she'd barely been eating anything the past few weeks. "Oh, but if you force me to eat all of these delicious onigiri, I'll get fat! You wouldn't want to be responsible for me losing this perfect figure!" Shigure hoped his little game would get her to eat some. While he didn't mind eating the batch himself, he did mind seeing Tohru's health decline. She definitely needed more nourishment now than ever.

Tohru blushed at Shigure's comment, imagining his figure becoming plump as he suggested it might. She didn't want to laugh at him, or state that she didn't think anything could change that perfect body. Sighing, she caved and reached for a rice ball. Her stomach turned a bit and she hoped she wouldn't be sick in front of Shigure. She nibbled on the rice ball then sipped her tea. The tea soothed her stomach's reaction but she didn't bother trying to eat more. It would only magnify the nausea.

Shigure caught the green look that briefly colored her features and hoped that she wouldn't be sick. It wouldn't do for her to lose what she'd just eaten and then some, so he didn't press her further. They sat silent together for a few more moments. Shigure watched Tohru as she slowly savored her tea. He tucked away another rice ball, before asking, "What is on your mind, my little flower?"

Tohru looked like a deer caught in headlights for a moment before stammering her denial. "Nothing's on my mind. I just can't sleep."

Shigure knew better and also knew how to get her talk. Like everyone else, she was putty in his hand. He sighed dramatically and brought a hand to his heart. "Oh, my little flower, you have wounded me! That you cannot trust me with your thoughts- oh it pierces me to the core!"

The onigiri's eyes grew wide, and she immediately began apologizing for her transgression. "It's not that I don't trust you Shigure-san, I just don't wish to be a burden. You've already done so much for me! Gomen nasai!"

"You're just saying that! You always say that!" Shigure pouted, crowing on the inside. "I won't forgive you this time!" He declared. Before the tears could spring to her eyes, he added "Unless you tell me right now what's bothering you!"

Tohru sighed and relented. What else could she do? Shigure mentally congratulated himself on another job well done. Tohru stared at her tea as she started explaining. "You're right, Shigure-san. I do have a lot on my mind and that's why I can't sleep. I guess I'm just overwhelmed. I keep trying to take it one step at a time, but I can't help but think 'this isn't the way I thought this would be', you know?"

Ah. So she was disappointed. Understandable, Shigure thought. "I doubt anyone thought it would be like this either." He offered. "It's not all that different, though, is it? Surely you expected to have a child one day. The timing is a bit off, granted. What didn't you expect?"

Tohru blushed lightly in embarrassment, but answered anyway in a meek voice. "To be alone."

Wow. That shocked him. He never thought of Tohru as alone; she had so many people close to her who all cared so deeply, including him. "Alone?" he asked dumbly, hoping to understand better. How could she feel alone!

"Oh, I guess alone isn't quite right." She admitted. "I guess…it's just that I don't have someone special. I'm unmatched. Uo-chan has her boyfriend and Kyo-kun has Kagura. Even Yuki-kun has his fan following, especially that Motoko girl. I'm really very happy for all of them, but sometimes, there's this little whisper inside that says I won't get to have that, that no one will want me because I have a baby. It's only a tiny voice, so I don't pay it much attention. It's easy to avoid if there's something to do, or people around. But then, sometimes, when it gets really quiet, like when I'm trying to go to sleep, its much harder to ignore. I lay awake in bed and I'm all alone. I become almost painfully aware of how unwanted the baby and I really are. That whisper becomes so loud and I know its right. I don't have anyone to go to when I can't stay with the Sohma's anymore, and Hana-chan and Uo-chan are married with their own families. I'll be alone all the time, just like I am when I go to bed at night. There won't be anyone to share this miracle with."

Shigure sat in silence as something deep inside him clenched around her painful words. She had a very good point. She probably wouldn't get to experience a relationship like her friends because of her choice to keep this child. Kyo and Yuki had shown romantic interest in her before, but the news of Tohru's pregnancy had definitely frightened the boys away. They weren't ready for the responsibility of parenthood, and while they refused to just abandon Tohru, they wouldn't be able to step up for her. Few people would. It would be years before she would have a chance of finding someone to fill the role she so desperately needed filled now.

Shigure had entirely missed that side of the picture. He'd been overjoyed at the prospect of having a baby in his house. He never expected any of his own, the curse and Akito preventing him from entering any relationships. Tohru's child was the next best thing to have. His home desperately needed a family touch. Right now it was more like a dormitory with the teenagers running around. A new respect for his little flower blossomed in him. She was giving up her dreams of marriage to keep a child conceived through circumstances that had raped her of more than just her innocence.

"I'm sorry, Shigure-san. I must sound terribly silly." Tohru said, quickly, scooping up their dishes. His silence had left her worried she'd done something wrong. Shigure realized it and grabbed her wrist to correct the misunderstanding before any more damage was dealt.

"You don't sound silly, Tohru-kun. You're absolutely right. You probably won't get to have a relationship like your friends now, but you're being very brave. You're doing an amazing thing to keep this baby. But you're wrong too. You're not as alone as you think. I know it's not the romantic dream you have, but this house is your home, it's our home. We'd never let you go, Tohru-kun. We love you too much." He hadn't intended to say that last sentence. He hadn't meant to use the word love. He knew it wasn't a lie, though.

Tears sprang to Tohru's eyes and she broke down under the realization of a lost dream, and a dream come true. She had a family again. As she cried, Shigure rubbed her back. He knew somehow that she needed to cry over this, and he let her. When she calmed down and she gave him a watery smile, they cleaned up in companionable silence. She thanked him for everything as they headed up to bed.

Tohru paused at the stairs, still uneasy about returning to her empty bed. Though she had talked it out, and Shigure's words had comforted her, the voice was still there and still right. "Shigure?" she asked, her fear leaking into her voice.

He paused in his ascent and turned to face her, clearly hearing the nervousness and question in her small voice. "Hai, Tohru-kun?"

"May I…um…that is…I'm still scared." She whispered. "I don't want to be alone."

Shigure wondered about his sanity when his offer slipped from his lips, but he didn't take it back. "You can lay in my bed with me if you promise not to hug me in your sleep."

Tohru brightened at his suggestion and she offered him a sheepish smile. "If it won't trouble you, I'd really appreciate it."

Shigure smiled gently back at her and led her back to his room. Shigure laid down and relaxed with Tohru's warmth next to him. She turned a few times, with quiet apologies. Finally she sighed. "Gomen Shigure-san. The baby is still restless. I don't want to keep you up. I'll just go back to my room."

Before she could move to follow through with her statement, Shigure quieted her and reached out to stroke gentle circles across her slightly swollen abdomen. Tohru blushed at first and told him he didn't have to, but he quieted her again and she soon fell victim to the rhythmic motion as did the baby. The comfort of Shigure's touch was magic to her frayed nerves and she quickly relaxed into sleep, her fears dissolving with her consciousness. For a moment, she wished that she were in Shigure's bed, not because he was being a good friend, but because he was being a good husband to his wife and his growing child. She fell asleep before the thought registered, but her dreams held onto it.

Shigure watched her intently as she relaxed. He could feel the tiny life moving under his hand slowly still as both mother and child drifted into sleep. He wanted to hold her more, to comfort away every dark cloud that settled above her, but he knew that he couldn't. So much lay between them, much more than just the curse. It was already inappropriate for her to be sharing his bed and he was sure he'd suffer the wrath of Kyo and Yuki in the morning. If he acted any further, he would likely have to deal with the curse and Akito as well. He knew he was pushing a dangerously fine line now, between friendship and something more. He wanted that something more. Tonight had shown him that, especially now as images of his little flower having his own baby flew through his mind. A relationship would be doomed, his greater half reminded him. She already accepts the curse, a smaller part of him argued, the part he wanted to cheer on, and it felt so natural, so right, to have her warmth next to him in his bed. He fell asleep trying to find reasons to squash those thoughts as the images of her being his wife and them raising a family together tempted him to hope.


End file.
